DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES

0-1 year old

Gaining skills rapidly * developing trust * doesn't know right from wrong * focuses on mouth * does whatever it takes to get needs met * communicates through feelings

How can you help?

This age child is too young to learn through punishment most of the desires of the child are related to survival. Instead, first try to discern if the child needs something and if not try to distract him/her with something new. * Child proof your house as much as possible because the child will naturally explore. Exploration is a healthy, normal learning tool. In order to encourage this, you will want to make the play area safe.

1-3 years old

Walking and talking * learning many skills * just beginning to learn to play cooperatively with other children * wants independence yet needs reassurance that you are there * gets frustrated and throws fits * learning how to deal with anger * is bossy * doesn't like changes * begins to know right from wrong * exploring everything * practicing saying no.

How can you help?

Try to limit your instructions to one or two word sentences. At this age you will frequently find yourself in embarassing situations because they copy everything they see and their behavior frequently is not compatible with social situations. Try not to blame yourself or your child. Remember this stage will not last forever. * Look for the humour in everything you can.

3-5 years old

Skips, hops, and jumps * uses full sentences * is curious and questioning * excited about learning * copies parents * uses magical thinking * learning what is pretend and what is real * learning what behavior is allowed * in love with daddy or mommy * talks about fears and worries * can handle small tasks * noticing difference between boys and girls.

How can you help?

Allow the child to make very simple choices, this satisfies a need for independence. Limit the choices or the child will become overwhelmed. * Give every opportunity possible for creativity especially encourage them to make and draw things. * Read to them whenever possible. * Try not to get to upset when child prefers one parent over the other this is very normal.

6-12 years old

Rapidly gaining mental and physical skills * continues to be a concrete thinker * has more friends outside the home * likes to make and do things * can handle more responsibility * concerned about what parents think of them * most girls and some boys become physically mature.

How can you help?

If you begin feeling rejected when they are at this age you are doing a good job. New heros, such as teachers and friends, begin to replace mom and dad.

13-17 years old

Has almost adult skill levels * reaches physical maturity with sexual urges * acceptance by peer group very important * impulsive and moody * wants independence and extra parental support * questions adult decisions * feels invinsible and takes many risks * begins to think abstractly which means they can begin to delay gratification * use deductive reasoning, and evaluate her own logic

How can you help?

Don't be fooled or put off by aloof behavior, your child still needs your reassurance and to know that you are there. It is very important to adolescents not to be rejected by parents for trying to be independent. Sometimes however, you may feel you are back to the "terrible twos".

18 or older

Recycle earlier stages of development depending on what you are going through at the time. This is particularly true when your children are going through their stages you may begin to remember how it was for you

How can you help?

Be patient with yourself!

U.T. Employee Assistance Office 471-3366